A Clockwork Sports

Chris Berman loses His Sodding Rassoodock Twice(Sinnys)

2008-02-11T16:42:00.000-08:00

Welly, welly, welly, welly, well. This old moodge has gone extremely yarbles, oh my brothers. As I skazzed to my old droog Dem some raz ago, he's a bastard with no manners and not a duke of an idea of how to contort himself publically, oh my brothers. Before this particular broadcast, Mister Berman admits to shvatty some of the old "222's". Not quite as bolshy and tasty as Moloko plus or pure vellocet or dredcrum, it still has quite a tolchock to it. The real question is why your humble narrater and droog has never tried some of these "222's". Perhaps this ded needs some of the old in-out, in-out from some molodoy luscious cheena to make his wrong- ways, right-ways. This old malchick's life is just not that baddiwad my droogs, its not as if he has suffered the tortures of the damned like your humble storyteller. I think I'll give this old moodge the old "suprise visit" and teach him a lesson in manners my brothers. Now I'm feeling a bit shagged and fagged and fashed dealing out this small energy expenditure. Time for a bit of spatchka, got to get fit and I'll be right as dodgers tommorow for another blogiwag postiwost.

Adrian Peterson MVP - But for how Long?

2008-02-11T12:13:00.000-08:00

Appy polly loggy brothers for not proding a posting yesternight. Had a bit too much of the old Moloko plus during the Pro Bowl, but now that I've had my spatchka, I'm ready to blogawog it again.
I wanted to govoreet about the molodoy malchick that is Adrian Peterson. It was gorgeousness and gorgeosity made flesh as he ziggy-zagged his way for 129 yardies, 2 touchdowns, and the MVP award. But how long will this malchicks success last my brothers?

Let us smot at the first two Running Backs selected in the draft within the past 5 years
2002 - 16th pick William Green (Cleveland) , 18th pick T.J Duckett (Falcons)
2003 - 23rd Willis McGahee (Bills) , 27th Larry Johnson (Chiefs)
2004 - 24th Steven Jackson (Rams) , 26th Chris Perry (Bengals)
2005 - 2nd Ronnie Brown (Dolphins) , 4th Cedric Benson (Bears)
2006 - 2nd Reggie Bush (Saints) , 21st Laurence Maroney (Patriots)
2007 - 7th Adrian Peterson (Vikings) , 12th Marshawn Lynch (Bills)

Only two of these Running Backs ran for over 1000 yardies as rookies. Wouldn't you know it brothers, it was Adrian Peterson and Marshawn Lynch, the class of 2007. Similarly in 2005, ROY winner Cadillac Williams ran for 1178 yardies and Ronnie Brown for 907. Both had bolshy rookie seasons, much like Peterson and Lynch, but success doesn't last long in the NFL my brothers. Being the featured back will have you tolchocked and clopped real horrorshow and you won't be the strong malchick you once were. So I ask you again my brothers, how long will Adrien Peterson's success last?

Devotchka of the Day: Allison Stokke, Oh My Droogies!

2008-02-08T22:59:00.000-08:00

Hi, Hi, Hi, Hi there. And a choodessny devotchka it is my brothers, I would pay all the pretty polly in the world to give her the old in-out,in-out, real savage. This particular soomka is what they call here in america a shest-vaulter, well let me tell you my brothers she can vault my shest any old raz she likes. The radosty of viddying this picture has me all oddy-knocky inside. Whoever the moodge who gets to lullilubb this misses is a lucky moodge indeed, oh yes its as clear as an unmuddied lake,as clear an azure sky of deepest summer. Its been a year since I was cured my brothers and oh yes I've had my fair run at some glorius devotchka's myself since my move to the ultra-violent america. But this misses Stokke is the sadkyest piece of sakar I've seen in some time brothers. Anyways my droogs, time for a bit of the old spatchka as I've got to get off to skolliwoll tommorow after.

A Bolshy Congrats to the Boodge Known Simply as Eli

2008-02-08T16:57:00.000-08:00

Oh Yes, my brothers as I sat watching that shiny shlem engineer that zammechat drive, I couldn't help but be reminded of the glorius zvook of Ludwig Van. As mister Eli showed what bolshy yarbles he has, mister Thomas Brady was lookin quite spoogy as if he needed a bit of the old vellocet, as linemen tolchocked him real horrorshow, they delivered a bit of the old ultra-violence. Oh yes, it was real horrorshow, like a sharp's warble sladky sounds. Yes my little droogies, the smot of Mister Brady's face was a rabbit of the finest art. As baboochka's and ded's all over boston creech and platch their eyes out, the only thing on my gulliver was ittying over to the old korova milkbar to celebrate the georgessness and gorgosity of Mister Eli's showing his guttiwuts. Oh yes my brothers he was cured.